Speed?

Last week I was with my family for dinner. Sounds quaint until you see the full picture: 4 kids under 7 years old. Wait, 4 BOYS under 7 and then two older cousins. Things can get pretty chaotic and my son loves to chase after or emulate his more... physically confident... older cousins. It's great for him to learn new things (poking each other in the eyes with light sticks does not make the list of acceptable new things, however) but he can become quite fearless.

He was sitting with his cousins at a small kid's table with plastic mini-chairs which I begged my mother not to buy because they're incredibly flimsy, and he decided to lean back in the chair. Well, the legs of those cheap chairs are meant to work in only one direction (that would be straight up and down) so when there's a force (my son's weight) placed at a different angle (that would be diagonal), the legs bend (I told you- these are terrible chairs!).

 

Fortunately, I was standing nearby and I caught him with one hand just before he hit the ground. Sort of like the Flash. 

 

Which got me thinking- if one had slowly acquired the gift of super-speed, how would one know? I mean, there would be clues: 

• Impatience at how slow people are at ATMs. 
• A car that feels like it's going slower than it actually is. 
• The ability to eat an entire meal in the blink of an eye.

So I decided to test myself to see if the gift of speed had been bestowed upon me, but I didn't feel like going outside (I mean it's speed, not the ability to withstand cold weather). So I offered to do the dishes after dinner. If I had super-speed, I'd be able to do this so quickly that it wouldn't register how annoying the task is, plus I'd win points with the wife.

Well, 30 minutes and 2 chipped bowls and a pan that just won't give up the cooking spray later and it looks like I just misread the clues: the proper conclusion is that I'm just impatient.

But I'll keep trying. 

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